An Incomprehensive List of Things I’d Like to do Someday

Dear Reader,

I have never stepped foot inside a USC classroom. Bummer, right? I toured ‘SC the summer before my senior year of high school and I knew it was where I needed to be in the fall of 2020. Fast forward to the spring of 2020, I was admitted to USC through a portal, not the white box I had expected, but nonetheless, I cried for a very, very long time. I bought the shirt on Depop that I had so desperately wanted to wear to my high school’s “College T-Shirt Day”. Alas, I never again entered the doors of my high school. I dreamed of my life at USC for many years, but I have not been able to experience said life just yet. So, even though absolutely no one asked for it, here is a non-exhaustive list of things I cannot wait to do when we eventually return to campus.

1. Go to a football game.

I know nothing about sports, which is my mother’s great shame. My mom’s side of the family is a sports family. My grandfather was a Trojan football and baseball player in the late 50s and early 60s, my mom and uncle were multi-sport athletes, NBA and NFL live on my grandma’s TV. I could not tell you the rules of football, or baseball, or name more than 10 NBA players (I do yell “Kobe!” whenever I throw trash into the can but I don’t think that means anything). While my lack of sports knowledge is embarrassing, my ability to get super excited about something I know nothing about is one of my greatest strengths. I love sports games. Something about rooting for a team with a thousand strangers fills me with unbelievable joy. I cannot wait to go to pile into the coliseum and scream when everyone else screams and pretend I know what’s going on.

2. Hate UCLA.

I love a good rivalry. At my high school, our rivals were the private school in town. The problem this time around is that USC is the private school in town. I say “Fucla” just as much as anyone else, but my heart is not in it. Once we get on campus I think I’ll be able to get my back into the rivalry more. As of right now, it is very hard for me to hate on a public school. Once a public schooler, always a public schooler. Right? My hope is that I’ll be able to let go of my resentment for private schools once I am fully initiated into the Trojan family. We shall see.

3. Make an influencer friend and ride their coattails to celebrity.

Much of my research about USC consisted of old Ol*via J*de videos and David Dobrik USC party vlogs. While that is not necessarily the life I see for myself, I would love to be the influencer’s best friend who has to go private on Instagram because the fans will not stop flooding her DMs. I guess what I’m saying is I love attention but don’t want to do anything myself to get that attention. I swear I am not as shallow as I sound. I am just speaking my truth.

4. Study in a library.

Picture this: Me in square-framed glasses, my cool, new college friends, a hot oat milk chai latte, laptops covered in stickers, pens scattered across the table, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and new books. My guy-best-friend-turned-true-love whispers a witty joke in my ear and I laugh a little bit too loud. The librarian shushes me. I make it up to her by baking her a fresh batch of cookies. She is so touched by this that she lets me come in after the library has closed and read poetry with her. Fast forward-- she officiates my wedding to the previously mentioned true love and tells this very story at the reception. That’s it.

5. Hug a Helene.

It is so weird to spend so much time with people and not know how tall they are. Or what kind of clothes they wear. Or what they look like from the shoulders down. I have never been much of a hugger, but I think I will be after this is all over. I would give anything to be able to hug people willy nilly. I am so lucky to have found people my freshman year of college that I want to hug so bad.

I cannot wait.

Helenes love and all of mine,

Khari Jenkins